Ted: Lessons in blatant racism that white people can laugh at – By Cameron Heffernan

After seeing Ted a few nights back Cameron needed a little time to process the racist crap he had to sit through. He kind of enjoyed the film, but in the end, he realized that Seth McFarlane has relied on blatant racism for to long and it’s about time to find a new way to be funny.

Most comedians, or for that matter, comedic writers find a way to be more creative when facing the fact that they’ve become stale and repetitive. The people watching their programs, movies, stand-up sets, and other mediums of comedy would let these comedians know, whether it be by message boards, fan clubs, articles, and any other manners of media that would let the public get the idea out that someone has stopped being funny. We as a society have assimilated and see people with opinions that are negative towards pop culture that the masses enjoy as ‘trolls’ or whatever new term is trending on Twitter or whatever, and that they only don’t like it because these people see it as popular and they want to go against the grain and be cooler than everyone else by not being into whatever is cool. Make sense? Probably not. Hipsters are most known for this process of thinking; searching for whatever movie is the most obscure, they like to go out of their way to not like what everyone else likes. It’s a real pain in the ass to keep this up, trust me I would know, mainly because I am too a person who tries too hard to not be cool so I appear more cool.

All this leads to Seth McFarlane and his new film “Ted” a boring and vapid live action episode of McFarlane’s “Family Guy” masquerading as a full-length feature. McFarlane for a solid 12 years now has been running the same shtick of offensive and brash comedy over-and-over again and it seems that no one has come to the realization that his jokes and everything else he does is just the same bullshit, the same racist and repetitive bullshit. McFarlane started ‘Family Guy’ in 1999, airing after the Super Bowl it was a fresh shot to Foxs’ Sunday line-up that was growing stale with the likes of “The Simpsons” and “King of the Hill” both very family-geared comedies. ‘Family Guy’ brought a new type of comedy to television that was very much its own thing, a rude and offensive comedy, McFarlane seemed to not give a shit what censors thought and it was great.

In ‘Ted’ McFarlane brings us the story of a young boy who wishes for his new teddy bear he gets for Christmas to be alive, and it comes to life. The Bear and the boy both grow up. One becomes a rental car salesman, the other stays a teddy bear that is alive. All this plays out hilariously for a solid 30 minutes maybe 45. After that it becomes a lesson in filler-for-films, ranging from a semi-funny scene that involves Sam Jones (Flash Gordon) snorting cocaine with Marky Mark (oh yeah, Mark Wahlberg plays the boy who wishes for a living teddy bear) and Ted; too a teddy bear stalking and kidnapping that feels like McFarlane set a page quota for himself before he set out to write this and crammed whatever typical movie bullshit he could. Other than the Flash Gordon part, which is only funny for its nostalgic value more than its actual comedic value, McFarlane continuously goes with his offensive and racist joke repertoire throughout the film and it’s tiring.

Towards the end of the scene with Sam Jones, Coked out of his mind at this point and stuck in the character of Flash Gordon, Jones punches a hole in the wall of Ted’s apartment and pisses off his next door neighbor and blatantly stereotypical Asian man. The Neighbor comes over with a duck in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other; effectively giving you the image that all Asian people do is breed and eat Ducks. The Asian neighbor then starts yelling and says his name, it escapes me now but it was along the lines of ping pong ming, some racist crap like that. The name Ming then sends Jones into a delusional stupor that has him seeing the neighbor as Emperor Ming from Flash Gordon. This shit is so racist it had me laughing but I couldn’t help but feel like a terrible person for laughing; the other thing that had me perturbed was the fact that McFarlane is so dependent on shock-laughs that maybe he’s transformed into a horrible racist and we all just think it’s a joke. We all laugh at the Cleveland Show and American Dad (other shows created by McFarlane, one, the Cleveland Show, featuring his prized token black character) but are they really funny or just offensive and maybe we’ve all just lost class and dignity because of our delusional pride in being white and American.

I only hope that McFarlane has just been trying to point a mirror at America and say this is what you are, the fat idiots like Peter Griffin who have no redeeming qualities, the token black guy who feels he has to appease his white friends by essentially being white (Cleveland), the ignorant American who no matter what terrible things the American government can do he stills finds it to be a necessity (American Dad), or the man-child who can’t separate from the things that made his/hers life a little easier when they were a child (Ted). If this is what McFarlane is trying to do with his characters, say “hey America, quit being ignorant assholes, this is how you act and it’s time to stop,” I’m fine with that, but I just don’t think he is, at one point he was but now it’s unfortunately become a repetitive process of racism and outlandish jokes that the idiots of this world enjoy.

Cameron Heffernan is a kind-of-fan of Seth McFarlane and was totally hoping that Ted was at least going to be something different and not just another Family Guy episode. He also realizes some people may feel offended by this article but this low-brow bullshit isn’t funny anymore. 

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8 thoughts on “Ted: Lessons in blatant racism that white people can laugh at – By Cameron Heffernan”

  1. I agree that his humour hasn’t changed. But i don’t see that to be a bad thing. Sure it is brash, simple, racist, partly moronic and childish – but it is still making people laugh either through family guy, or this new film. The movie theatre I sat in was filled with laughter.
    I can understand what you mean though because it has been the same humour for many years, but people will not suddenly change their sense of humour. Interesting post though!

    1. Well, there’s different types of asian stereotypes, some positive (mostly martial art or period films) and some negative (mostly comedies) and there some where asians are excluded in lead roles entirely in asian stories due to fear of losing money. I thought the movie had funny moments but overall, it does feel like the humor had to be over the top to get a laugh, I mean…sometimes you’re force to laugh even though it wasn’t all that funny.

  2. watching ted right now and its full of racist shit and as an african american its just bad
    cleveland is alright hes black im black but ted aghhhh

    1. I paid $4.99 to rent it on iTunes, I’m mexican and I feel as I’ve completely wasted my money… I just understand you.

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