Insanity and Cocaine: A journey through the mind of The Ultimate Warrior – By Cameron Heffernan

Last Night, as my friend Tyler and I were discussing the finer points of professional wrestling, The Ultimate Warrior came up and I there-soon-after started in on how awesome The Warrior was when I was a kid. Tyler then responded with a “what the hell are you talking about?” “That guy was the absolute worst, he couldn’t even cut a coherent promo.” With the magic of YouTube at my finger tips I was able to realize the error in my thinking. Now I present to you the living testament of the effects of Cocaine and pure madness. Ladies and Gentleman, The Ultimate Warrior.

In this first video, the Warrior informs Hulk Hogan that he must speak to him like the God he talks about. He is so blown up out of his mind, he also supposedly poisoned Hulk Hogan with the minimum dosage of power form The Ultimate Warriors, unfotunately the anti-bodies of Hogan turned away the poison because it fears the poison. Whatever the hell that means.

This promo seems to be the first promo cut before that last one mainly because the first one was goddamn nonsense. In this Warrior decides to explain how Hogan can comfort the people that have more fear than Hogan. He then goes on to describe Hogan and how he should dispose of a few imaginary pilots and shove the controls of the plane into a nose dive. Basically the Warrior is totally promoting terrorism because he believes Hogan can’t handle the power of the Warrior. Jesus Christ this shit is crazy.

“Load the spaceship with rocket fuel.” That’s all I have to say for this one, fast forward the video to 1:16 for the Warriors promo. Again he is just coked out of his mind and rambling about taking the Intercontinental Championship to places unknown.

This video is the pinnacle of crazy as the Warrior fluctuates from yelling loudly too sweet whispers of insanity in the camera. The best part is at 1:25 where Mean Gene tries to get a cut from the promo and you just know Vince McMahon is yelling in his ear to let this crazy shit keep going. Also, I guess spirits of warriors’-past are seeping through the wall behind Warrior providing him with protection, Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Many may not remember the Arsineo Hall show, and some may just not remember Arsineo Hall; aside form that though this appearance on the Arsineo Hall Show by Warrior is our final entry, but it’s a grand one. The greatest thing in all this, aside from him searching for cocaine trolls under couches in the beginning or him trying to get his grip on his coke-gums, it’s how he prefers people to refer to him when Arsineo asks him what he should call him, “Ultimate or Warrior?” The Warriors response, “Those who have made the small sacrifices may call me Hugh W, Those who have made no sacrifices must call me The Ultimate Warrior.” There’s another point where Arsineo says “wow, to much coffe?” which the Warrior says, “MORE THAN COFFEE.”

Yup that is a lot more than coffee, that is nothing but a big white pony to crazy town riding on the tears of all the broken Warriors.

5 responses to “Insanity and Cocaine: A journey through the mind of The Ultimate Warrior – By Cameron Heffernan”

  1. 3 things: 1. god damn that was entertaining 2. is it just me or is the warrior’s voice a rip off of the 1st Highlander’s main villain. 3. I actually think his promos are awesome because i would not want to get in the ring with someone that is that bat shit nuts.

  2. You don’t seem to understand even the basics of the physiology and pathophysiology of drugs. Cocaine does not make you psychotic.
    Nothing you have written here really makes any sense.
    We now know that the Ulitmate Warror was an incredibly articulate, intelligent and principled man who continued to grow as a human being and a man.

    These promos are creative genius and, in my opinion, even better in hindsight.

    Creating this type of image and character is not an easy thing to do at all.
    What you are watching is a live performance and creativity and with an incredible level of appeal and off the chart charisma.

    I haven’t watched wrestling since the 80s and even then most of it was boring.

    But I can watch these promos over and over.
    They are awesome and this is why he is still so loved by most modern day wrestlers as well as fans.

    • We’re all entitled to out opinions here. The guys was out of his mind on Roids and cocaine. Yeah he was playing a character, but that character became reality. Which alienated a lot of people. He wasn’t a decent person or anything of that nature. I do understand the psychological affects of Cocaine, Heroin, Acid, and a litany of other drugs, because I’ve had many a friend who’s battled addiction as well as the occasional dabble in the dark arts myself. I’ve been watching wrestling my whole life buddy. As sad as it is, he was a shitty wrestler back in the day and further perpetuated stereotypes that sunk the sport to begin with. I’m glad that we can jump on an ivory tower when someone passes. But to
      Ignore someone’s past discrepancies, especially the wildly racist, inconsiderate and generally xenophobic ones The Warrior had, is just ignorant. Thanks for checking out the site.

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