Insanity And Cocaine Vol. II: The Brighter Side of Madness With ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage – By Cameron Heffernan

In the first installment of Insanity and Cocaine, Cameron took a look at the shortcomings of The Ultimate Warrior. In this edition, he looks at the brighter side of madness, with the Macho Man. “Ohhhhhhhhhh, Yeahhhhhhhhh.”

With our first installment of Insanity and Cocaine, we took a look at The Ultimate Warrior and his inept idiocy in cutting promos and just in life in general. With this installment, we are going the complete opposite way. Macho Man was the greatest. From ‘Bonesaw’ in Spider-Man to the genuinely awesome promos he used to cut to all the crazy Miss Elizabeth storylines he got wrapped up in, Macho was a cut above the rest. Let us take a journey into the mind of one of the greatest of all-time.

In this first video we get a look at a younger Macho Man, not as juiced as his, “snap into a Slim Jim,” days but still with crazy crap like , “time distortion, space is the place ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund, go down that lonesome highway but don’t be hypnotized.” Things like this were commonplace for Macho Man. Thus why he mainly delved in “Macho Madness”.

The best part of this, is at the end, after he finishes with his description of some moral choice that him and Elizabeth have made upon which path to take he yells, “Elizabeth you go right, and I’ll go left,” then ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund asks, “Macho, may I ask you one more question?” Macho responds off camera as it fades to black. “NO MORE QUESTIONS.”Classic crazy ‘Macho’.

Moving on, again in the first installment of “I&C”, we looked at an interview ‘Warrior’ did with Arsenio Hall on the “Arsenio Hall Show”. Now in that, ‘Warrior’ was an incoherent mess, throwing the set furniture around looking for Cocaine Trolls and other such hallucinated creatures. With the ‘Macho Man’ though he’s nothing more than an insane-ass-class-act.

“I’m the tower of power, to sweet too be sour, I’m funky like a monkey, the sky is the limit, and space is the place.” Macho Man Randy Savage. Only the best for Arsenio. This was Macho’s second appearance on ‘Arsenio’, he was on the ‘Arsenio Show’ a total of three times and every time, he was the best interview Arsenio has ever had. At one point in the interview, Arsenio asks ‘Macho’ if he’s ever used Steroids. Like any class act, instead of running away from the anwser, ‘Macho’ straight-up admits to using Anabolic Steroids, says they’re an awful poison that he put in his body, and that it gave him a “terrible case of P.M.S.” God I love the ‘Macho Man’. It also is very possible that he was still juicing during this interview. But, hey, who knows.

Macho not only brought his brand of insanity and unruliness to the ring, but he also brought it to the forefront of entertainment. In the mid-’90s, Macho began to crossover even more into mainstream media. Beginning with the now famous “Slim Jim” commercials where his catchphrase of, “Snap into a Slim Jim, Ohhhhhh Yeahhhh!” Came from.

“Art Thou bored?” Screams Macho, The kids in the commercial, “Yeah.” Macho responds in the only way possible, by snapping into a ‘Slim Jim’ and blowing up the movie set.

In this next, classic Slim Jim ad, Macho causes at least $100,000 in property damages, may have killed the store owner, or at the least torn most of his skin off with all the exploding glass, and ‘Macho’ just doesn’t give a crap, about any of it. Why? Because he’s got Slim Jims to sell. ‘Macho’, not only one of the greatest wrestlers, but one of the great advertisers too.

Now we look at the ever-classic ‘Bonesaw’ scene from Spider-Man. This is essentially Macho at another Peak in his already illustrious career. He was very much about reaching peaks and going to space. You know, the common ramblings of a man on Cocaine and ‘Roids. “BONESAW IS REEEADDDDYYYY!”

In the end, Macho always knew that he was a cut above the rest. Much like CM Punk in today’s WWE, Macho knew he was the best in the world. With this being said, it is time to say goodbye for this installation ‘I&C’. We exit, however, with the Macho talking about his greatness. Being the “Cream of the crop in the World Wrestling Federation.”

“Nothing means nothing. Nothing means nothing, I’m talking about all the way to the top, unjustifiably in a position that I’d rather not be in, but the cream will rise to the top.”

Macho was one of the greatest of all-time, and that’s the difference between him and The Ultimate Warrior. Where the ‘Warrior’ lost his shit and was an incoherent mess from top to bottom through-out most of his promos, matches or any other form of wrestling propaganda. ‘Macho Man’ was the greatest at everything he did-and he was coked out of his gourd and ‘Juiced’ on the Roids most of the time. He was taken away from us entirely too soon and we should never forget the spirit of the Greatest.

“From the top to the bottom, I’ve been much maligned because they can’t handle the Macho Man Randy Savage, they can’t handle the ‘Cream of the Crop’.”

Truer words have never been spoken. Goodnight sweet Prince, and may your Valhalla be filled with all the ‘Slim Jims’ a man could ever want.

Editors note: The final paragraph in this was edited to better illustrate my point of the varying degrees of “Insanity and Cocaine.”

4 responses to “Insanity And Cocaine Vol. II: The Brighter Side of Madness With ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage – By Cameron Heffernan”

  1. I just happened upon this blog post and all I can say is OOOOHHHH YEAAAHHHH! Macho Man was the greatest of all time, can you dig it?

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