2 Chainz hits us with that sweet chin music, yet again.

I guess I’ll take it upon myself to start this segment off in the best way possible. 2 Chainz has a song, it’s called “Own Drugs” and features a heavy hitting Juicy J and Cap 1 – My repeat button is now f*ckin’ broken.

2 Chainz is something of a unicorn around here, there is almost nothing he can do wrong by our eyes and his newest efforts deliver like UPS on a Monday – on time, and with a smile. Ask yourself “What can 2 Chainz do for you?”

In this specific masterpiece, Mr. Chainz confidently professes his ability to “F*ck his own Girl” instead of yours, all the while smoking his own weed and washing it down with his self attained cup full of liquor. It becomes quickly apparent that Mr. Chainz needs nothing from you, and that the rest of Three 6 Mafia would like their beats back.

2 Chainz also seems to have very little to worry about, proclaiming:

“I really ain’t stressin’, I ain’t even stressin’” twelve times throughout the track.

On the other hand, your life is mostly shit compared to his as he opens the first verse with, “While you stressin’ me, God keeps on blessing me.” We all remember the beginning where Mr. Chainz told you he had his own girl, and his own drugs – Now he has combined them for a golden lyric that will be a nursery rhyme for generations to come:

“I know how to make money, this the recipe. Your pussy get rest to peace, especially murder scene hit her from the back, she like, “Hercules! Hercules!” (tell ’em)”

After hearing this gem 30 seconds in, I knew the next 4 minutes were going to change my life forever.

Enter: Juicy J

Riding the obvious Three 6 Mafia rip off beat, Juicy J shows why he is just as good on his own. The flow that has become instantly recognizable on any feature he touches, melds perfectly with Mr. Chainz’s often choppy and self-timed style. Juicy J comes flying onto the track with a, “Double cup full of Ms. Buttersworth, Brownskin bitch in a tennis skirt, With some rolling papers – full of purp.” Breathtaking. Not only does you life pale in comparison to 2 Chainz’s aforementioned wonder-life, Juicy J also has it much better than yourself and it is painfully apparent that Cap 1 will follow the same lines of, well, having his Own Drugs.

To finish out, Cap 1 comes in to close the track down and make you feel worse about living in your Aunt’s basement at age 36, with no drugs and definitely no wife.

Not Cap 1 however, his wife is working double time, “I ain’t gotta speak – my wife, get her lickin’ on me like an Optimo.”

That pretty much sums it up. Listening to this song is like having someone read a list of your failures out loud to a room full people.  If you are still reading this, and haven’t started to fill your basement room/game dungeon up with natural gas yet, now is a good time to get some of your Own Drugs and stop mooching Aunt Sandy’s roaches. If we learned anything today, it’s that the drugs are all the is really necessary, the money, women, cars, parties, and record deals all come after that.