Ranking Will Smith’s One-Liners in “Independence Day”

by Dustin Brewer

“Independence Day” is a movie that furthered the breakout of Will Smith into the world’s most bankable movie star and turned the Fourth of July into one of the biggest movie weekends for the box office. It’s also a movie that puts Will Smith’s ability to deliver zingers front and center for two and a half hours of nonstop quips. This Fourth of July, let’s remember all the best lines from Captain Steven Hiller.

– via Collider.com

To say that “Independence Day” caught Will Smith at the absolute perfect moment is a massive understatement. He’d been on “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” for six years by that point, had been nominated for an Oscar for “Six Degrees of Separation”, and co-led “Bad Boys” with Martin Lawrence.

There are lots of decisions made by “Independence Day” director Roland Emmerich that range from good to fantastic but by far, the best decision is casting Will Smith and then just telling him to go nuts. It takes about 30 minutes for U.S. Marine & F/A-18 jet pilot Captain Steven Hiller to be introduced but once he hits the screen, he is a quip machine. He throws so many quips, one-liners, and punchlines that you realize instantly why he becomes the biggest movie star on the planet after this.

35. “Look, No Hands.”

34. “DON’T GET PREMATURE ON ME, SOLDIER. WE DON’T LIGHT UP UNTIL THE FAT LADY SINGS.”

33. “IS THAT AN EARTHQUAKE?”

32. “WE’RE NOT HIT! WE’RE NOT HIT! STOP SIDE SEAT DRIVING!”

31. “ALMOST PUT A HEX ON THE WHOLE DAMN THING.”

30. “HE WANT TO IMPRESS ME, HE NEEDS TO GET A JOB AND STOP SLOBBERING ALL OVER MY SHOES.”

29. “WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION.”

28. “MAKE SURE YOUR SEAT BACKS AND TRAY TABLES ARE IN THEIR UPRIGHT AND LOCKED POSITIONS.”

27. “LET’S GET LOW AND LET’S GET FAST.”

26. “WOO! LOW BRIDGE!”

25. “Y’ALL TAKE CARE, ALRIGHT? NOTHING BUT LOVE FOR YOU. PEACE!”

24. “I AIN’T HEARD NO FAT LADY!”

23. “SEE IF YOU CAN FLY THAT THING UNDER COVER.”

22. “SOME JERK PUT THIS THE WRONG WAY ROUND, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TRY THAT AGAIN?”

21. “OOPS.”

20. “ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!”

19. “HOPE YOU GOT AIRBAGS!”

18. “SHIP ALL BANGED UP! WHO’S THE MAN?”

17. “LOOK, I REALLY DON’T THINK THEY FLEW NINETY BILLION LIGHTYEARS TO COME DOWN HERE AND START A FIGHT, GET ALL ROWDY.”

16. “I’ll Have to Let All My Other Girlfriends Know They Can’t Come Over, Postpone a Little Freaky Deaky.”

15. “YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE.”

14. “WAIT TILL I GET ANOTHER PLANE, I’M LINING ALL YOUR FRIENDS OUT RIGHT BESIDE YOU!”

13. “YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE.”

12. “Hey JASMINE, NEIGHBORS MOVING OUT. GUESS THEY FINALLY GOT TIRED OF ALL THESE QUAKES. LITTLE SHAKE AND THEY RUNNING.”

11. “I HAVE GOT TO GET ME ONE OF THESE!”

10. “I COULD HAVE BEEN AT A BARBECUE!”

9. “JUST TELL THEM I HIT YOU.”

8. “OH NO YOU DID NOT SHOOT THAT GREEN SHIT AT ME!”

7. “DIDN’T I PROMISE YOU FIREWORKS?”

6. “I’M JUST A LITTLE ANXIOUS TO GET UP THERE AND WHOOP ET’S ASS, THATS ALL.”

5. “GOT ME DRAGGING YOUR HEAVY ASS THROUGH THE BURNING DESERT WITH YOUR DREADLOCKS STICKING OUT THE BACK. YOU GOTTA COME DOWN HERE WITH AN ATTITUDE , ACTIN’ ALL BIG AND BAD…AND WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?!”

4. “COME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE MY CLEARANCE? MAYBE I’LL JUST LEAVE THIS HERE WITH YOU.”

3. “YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN DO ALL THAT BULLSHIT YOU JUST SAID?”

2. “WELCOME TO EARTH.”

1. “NOW, THAT’S WHAT I CALL A CLOSE ENCOUNTER.”

So this Fourth of July, while most of the country is closed, throw on “Independence Day” to help you celebrate and to help you remember: Big Willie Style Then, Big Willie Style Now, Big Willie Style Forever.

Let us know what your favorite “ID4” quote is or if we have any too low or too high. You can find us on Twitter & Instagram or follow Dustin on Twitter here. Have a safe & happy July 4th.

Listen to our “Independence Day” episode of Empty Your Queue here.

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