R.I.P. TomKat 2006-2012- by Dustin Brewer

After the news of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ marriage demise, Dustin takes a minute to say a few words about the power couple known as TomKat.


Today we are gathered to remember the celebrity power couple known only as ‘TomKat.’ The couple passed away with the news that Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise at the ripe old age of almost six years of marriage together.

It’s hard to imagine that somehow the love that inspired very public displays of affection could be gone but this is the nature of celebrity couples. It’ll be hard to move on, but thankfully, Hollywood power couples are survived by Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) and Bennifer 2: The Reckoning (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner.)

It’s rumored that the demise came after Holmes discovered that Cruise was interested in getting their daughter Suri into Scientology, the religion that allegedly acted as the third member of their marriage.

But let’s not remember this with images of the couple arguing over the level of involvement Xenu was going to have in Suri’s life, but instead, let’s remember the times that showed us just how good celebrity marriages can be.

April 2005- As the relationship between Holmes and Cruise began to blossom, Cruise was promoting his remake of ‘War of the Worlds.’ One such stop was the Oprah Winfrey show, where he showed that you aren’t in love until you’ve jumped up and down on a couch and screamed your affections at an audience of confused women and a slightly frightened Oprah. I once tried to impress a girl with the ‘Cruise Couch Jump’ but instead, we just had to replace a ceiling fan and thankfully, I didn’t need stitches.

May 2005- Nothing says in love with you and not publicity quite like an old fashioned dip-kiss on the red carpet.

June 2005- Acting fast, Cruise liked it so he put a ring on it. The couple announced their engagement after he proposed in Paris in a ceremony that surely made men everywhere feel like failures.

April 2006- The celebrity world gets a little bit bigger as Suri Cruise is born, instantly becoming cooler and wealthier at birth then I have ever been in 22 years of life.

November 2006- In a lavish ceremony in Italy, the couple officially married and for their wedding picture, Cruise even dusted off his old high heeled shoes so he could match his lovely bride in height in the pictures for once.

From there on out, they were the toast of Hollywood, palling around with the Beckhams and even arranging Suri playdates with the genetically perfect Shiloh Jolie-Pitt.

Everything seemed perfect, but alas, who are we to judge multi-millionaires and what they choose to squabble about, it’s time we just let TomKat move on to that great big cocktail party in the sky.

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