Arnold Schwarzenegger: An Ode to His Career and his Existence – By HefferBrew

In celebration of our 100th article, the editors at HefferBrew, as well as some of their friends, celebrate the career, life and accomplishments of the greatest actor/human being of all time. The man, the myth, the legend, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was born on July 30, 1947 in Thal, Austria. When he was 20-years-old he began to dominate competitive body-building. When ‘Arnold’ felt he had done it all, becoming a five-time “Mr. Universe” and a seven-time “Mr. Olympia”, he moved on to be one of the most prosperous actors to ever grace the silver screen. After films he ran for Governor of California, and he won by a landslide. So in a quick recap it goes something like this, body builder – actor – politician. Oh yeah, and he’s an immigrant. Here’s to you Mr. Schwarzenegger, from some of your biggest fans of all time.

Cameron Heffernan

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the man. Not the man, the ultimate being. He has fought the devil, himself, evil cloning companies, terrorism on many occasions, the rise of the machines, an evil mining corporation hell bent on stealing the oxygen from Mars, a Predator, and an evil man-snake king. All of these things he’s overcome. Yes, they were in film, but nitpicking about reality and fantasy is not what this is about. Arnold is the greatest bad ass of all-time. I personally believe that no matter how old he gets he could continue to kick ass like he has in the past. Why? Because legends never die, and they sure as shit never lose. Arnold faced a few allegations early about groping women, to which he responded, “I behaved badly sometimes”, but he beat that shit like he rammed his fist into it’s stomach and broke it’s goddamn spine. When he faced criticism for using Marijuana his response to that was this, . “[Marijuana] is not a drug. It’s a leaf. My drug was pumping iron, trust me.” All I’m saying is that the man knows how to handle his shit, when it came out that he had been cheating on his wife and fathered an illegitimate child with a cleaning lady/nanny in their house. He eventually got divorced, but all of it got quietly swept under the rug. He still continued his awesomeness after all this, and even appeared in “The Expendables 2” and kind of put an already awesome movie into territory unknown by film critics and fans alike. Arnold has lived his life by one of the first things he ever said in film in semi-understandable English. In “Conan the Barbarian” he utters the iconic words when asked, “Conan, what is best in life?” Conan responds, “to crush your enemies, see them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of their women.” This has been Arnold’s subtle mantra in life, he has crushed his enemies, he has driven them before him and he more than definitely has heard the lamentation of the women. Thank you Mr. Schwarzenegger, for everything that you brought to not only film but the life lessons you brought to a young man looking for whats right and true in life. You are the American dream.

Here’s a video of all his awesomeness before we get into the next testimonial.

Gavin Muirhead

Out of all the first names in the world, there is only one that can turn a grown man (or woman) into an overly excited child halfway through the first syllable. It’s Arnold .

– Did you feel that?

You’ve just had Total Recall, and it proved my point while filling you with joy at the same time. There is no other actor/celebrity/false idol that can make you consider being Turboman as a career, wish you had a metal endoskeleton under your living tissue, or just plain made you want to lift a dumb-bell once or twice. Arnold is the total package, what you see is exactly what you get – a bad accent, with choppy comedic timing and a massively chiseled physique that never has to reload – and marathon after marathon your filled with a feeling that only Arnold can give you. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, anyone with a brain knows Arnold is the king of the one-liners and has been spewing the finest ear candy since before most of us were even born. In 1988 when asked about his on screen love interests in an interview with Playboy he candidly replied, “I have a love interest in every one of my films – a gun.” He was elected governor of my beloved California under the idea he was going to “terminate taxes”, and during a debate for office he told his bitter opponent that their “personal income tax had the biggest loophole, I could drive my Hummer through it” – Hell, you just secured my vote Mr. Governator.

The first history lesson I remember learning came from this man’s mouth, “What killed the dinosaurs? – THE ICE AGE!” And as far as I’m concerned every time Donald Trump says “Your Fired” he should give Mr. Schwarzeneggar a dollar. There is no comparing him to anyone; the closest runner-up is in 4th place because he takes up all 3 podium spots himself. Arnold is more than an actor; he’s an inspiration to generations of people who would be lost without his teachings. When a situation arises in my life that needs some serious attention I think to myself, “WWAD” and quickly remember the simple answer – “crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.”

Solid advice.

So I beg you, go with him if you want to live – because a life without Arnold “It’s Not A Tumor” Schwarzeneggar is a life left joyless and unfulfilled. Like a sober Metallica.

Sam Accardo

Arnold Schwarzenegger to me is the most iconic actor I’ve viewed on screen. Whether or not you’ve even seen one of his movies (every movie he’s in instantly becomes ‘his movie’) you know about Arnold. The line “I’ll be back.” has been used seriously, jokingly, and even sexually for years now. (Come on, just imagine Arnold surprising some chick with his birthday suit after he disappeared and said “I’ll be back…”.) But it’s really his own personality that sets him apart from the rest. I mean, with enough Hollywood magic and a hint of talent, even the most mundane actor can become an action star (unless your Taylor Lautner). But no actor, no matter how talented or muscle-bound, can do Arnold what only Arnold can do.

My first dosage of vitamin-Arnold came at a young age when I watched “Terminator 2: Judgement Day” on daytime TV. As soon as he warped into that truck stop and got clothing the hard way. The whole movie is a non-stop train of action and explosions and guns, but without Arnold protecting John Connor with his metal organs and one-handed shotgun reloading skills, T2 wouldn’t have been nearly as awesome. Can anyone else truthfully pull off being a Terminator better than Arnold? No, I didn’t think so.

But the thing that really makes Arnold not only an iconic actor, but one of the best, is his range of talent. Over the years, Arnold’s english speaking abilities have improved, but back in 1990, the year Kindergarten Cop came out, he had a ways to go in speaking English. Making a comedic movie is hard enough as it is, especially when considering Arnold’s background as a body-builder-turned-action-star with a severe lack of english speaking skills. But his ridiculous nature and fish-out-of-water attitude in the movie sell it as a whole. Arnold Schwarzenegger is truly an actor that can adapt to the situation. Few action stars really do it that well, but Arnold not only does it well, he makes sure the audience knows it’s him. Arnold is truly one of the top 5 actors of all time, not because he won any Oscars or made critical art-house movies, but because he knew how to put his stamp on a movie. And no one else can dominate the silver screen like Arnold can.

Dustin Brewer-

As a child and throughout adolescence, Arnold Schwarzenegger was as close as any actor could get to being a member of the family. When I first saw “Terminator 2” at 5-years-old, I was devastated by the ending, crying my eyes out for hours after the movie had ended. Yes it was sad, but more than that, through watching that movie, my first Arnold experience, he became indestructible to me. He somehow managed to become the ripped out of his mind every man. Even as he does astonishing things in his films, he never loses the ability to make you relate to him. He’s the sole reason I saw “Batman & Robin” and why I still watch that film to this day, he takes even the worst of scripts and renders them watchable, nay, entertaining in far more levels than they would be with anyone else in the title role.

He also holds a distinction in my book as the only action star that made comedy films and then transitioned right back into ass kicking without you questioning it. After “Twins” came “Total Recall” and after “Kindergarten Cop” came “Terminator 2,” all four of these films hold court in the Arnold pantheon as milestones in themselves, if you’re looking to discredit “Twins” and its’ entertainment value, I implore you to think again.

His traits never got old, with every Arnold movie you know you’re going to get one-liners and action in its’ purest form. He’s always known that that’s what the people expect from him, but he’s also been able to switch it up just enough, play a character just different enough that you forget about his body of work for the time being and focus on the film. The burnt out, faithless cop he plays in “End of Days” marks one of the first times he’s a character that has no superior advantage over his opponent, everyone is against him and he’s got to rely on his wits to survive, this is similar to his iconic character Dutch from “Predator” but you’d never confuse the two and that’s where his success has lied.

Yes, when you think Arnold, your mind immediately thinks of blockbusters like the “Terminator” movies or “Total Recall,” maybe now even “The Expendables” but what gives him such staying power is the sheer quantity of entertaining movies he’s been a part of. There’s never been a clearer cut case for an actor understanding their strengths and why they’re strengths and then just going to town on silver screen after silver screen. For every “Terminator” there’s an “Eraser,” a “Running Man” and an “End of Days” just waiting to be watched again.

Oh, and he made the single greatest Christmas movie ever.

Scandals or no scandals, divorce or no divorce and whether or not you enjoyed his stint as California Governor, the people love Arnold because in him they find comfort and solace. If there’s one thing that his movies have always conveyed, it’s that when the chips are down and things are looking bleak, we at least know that Arnold isn’t going down without a fight, and that’s all I can ask for.

One response to “Arnold Schwarzenegger: An Ode to His Career and his Existence – By HefferBrew”

  1. Thank god that there are people out there with the common knowledge to idolize this man like myself. The man is an absolute beast. To be a world champion body builder, one of the greatest actors ever, and the governor of California are all crazy to do by themselves but this one monster of a man did all 3 of them and is still kicking ass. Awesome article.
    Hey is an awesome motivational speech by none other than Mr. Schwarzenegger himself.

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