Craptastic NFL Player Power Rankings: Why Even Ponder Passing ?

It’s time for your weekly dose of craptastic pleasure. This week we welcome a new addition to the list, Christian Ponder.


With career defining performances from rookie phenom Andrew Luck and Doug Martin this week it was a little ruff to filter through all the good and find the truly awful and craptastic. But with the Christian Ponders, Darren McFaddens and surprisingly the Eli Mannings of the world the Craptastic rankings system has way more than enough “talent” to pick apart.

1. Christian Ponder – 11 of 22 passing, a whopping 63 yards passing, one interception (not returned for a touchdown, surprisingly), sacked four times for a total loss of 19 yards, and essentially being the equal of a dried turd running up and down the field, but not really up an down the field. That was Adrian Peterson’s job. There hasn’t been a better example of one man carrying – at some points literally – his whole team on his back then with Peterson in this game. Peterson accounted for 182 yards of Minnesota’s 287-total-yards, Ponder accounted for 86 – he also had 23 yards rushing – but nonetheless Ponder was terrible and big reason why the Vikings lost on Sunday.

2. Chris Johnson (before the 80-yard touchdown run) – Johnson – who all-in-all had a pretty good against a stout Chicago defense – didn’t really have as good of a day as the stats portray. At the end of the day Johnson finished with 141 yards on 16-carries and a touchdown. What it fails to explain is that prior to an 80-yard touchdown explosion from Johnson in garbage time, “CJ2K” would’ve finished with 16-carries for 61 yards and two fumbles. Granted the fumbles were caused by “Punchy” Charles Tillman, who has seven on the season with the two he forced in this game, but still, Johnson was set for a super craptastic day if not for that bailout-80-yard dash.

3. Matt Hassleback/ Matt Cassel – We all know these quarterbacks suck, I mean they really suck. The funny thing with these two is how close their craptastic stat-lines are.

Hassleback – 20/35, 195 yards passing, one touchdown, one interception (returned for a touchdown). 

Cassel – 19/29, 181 yards passing, no touchdown (this throws it off a little bit), one interception (also ran back for a touchdown). 

Both threw pick sixes, but one of them puts themselves ahead by his lost fumble and that goes to Mr. Cassel. That poor guy had one solid season for the Patriots and everyone thought it was him and not the system. I think it’s time to face facts, Bill Belichick is the greatest coach of all-time and he could turn my fat-lazy-ass into another Tom Brady if you gave him a few weeks.

4. Darren McFadden – Seven attempts, 17 yards. All craptastic. It’s become almost pathetic how awful this once prized running-back has become. Carson Palmer looks good (somehow), the Raiders defense is terrible but okay enough to keep them in games. The running game has just stalled them out to beyond repair but the Raiders aren’t a good enough team, like the Packers, to just operate without a RB. The Raiders need balance, and until McFadden is able to find his then Raider Nation has a long time till they’re able to find something to root for. But hey, it’s not like they’ve really had anything to root for for a solid 10 years.

5. Eli Manning – 10 of 24, 125 yards passing and an interception. Oh not to mention laying a stinker during a time in which the east coast, and especially New York could’ve used a booster type win like this. But hey, that’s the two time and defending world champion Giants for you. a wild roller-coaster of emotions.

Honorable Mention: Tony Romo (kind of), Ryan Fitzpatrick, Stevie Johnson, Oakland Raiders front line, Michael Vick, Andy Reid, Blaine Gabbert, Robert Griffin III, Victor Cruz, Rex Ryan. 

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